Thursday, May 15, 2008
My life is out of control
I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately i don't know what to do. Carter is out of control and these terrible two's are destroying me. I don't know what to do with him. He won't listen to me at all. I've tried everything. I take him to the park because that is his favorite thing and he is horrible. He is constantly trying to play in the road even though he knows it's bad. He tells me it's bad but then goes and tries it again. Everytime i try to put him in his carseat it's a huge battle. He throws himself back and arches his back and won't let me buckle him in. It ends up him screaming and me almost in tears by the time i get him buckled in. He now refuses to go to sleep in his bed. Brad and i don't get any time to ourselves in the evenings. He has to either go to bed with Brad and me or i have to let him fall asleep on the couch. Naptime is a nightmare too. He refuses to eat for me and Brad but will eat for our parents and the babysitter. We can't take him to restaurants because his is completely horrible. It is so embarrassing that i can't control my own child. He is now horrible in the store too. He throws a fit because he wants to walk and i try to let him but then he tries throwing things off the shelf or running away so i have to put him back in the cart and then it's a battle just like the carseat. People stare and i feel like a horrible mom who can't control my child. Which i can't. We have been having financial problems for a few months and that doesn't help either. Brad is pressuring me to get a full time job and i just can't go out and get one. Plus, that won't really help much because child care is so expensive. I am trying to finish my classes but i never have time between working part-time and taking care of Carter and our apartment. We are really wanting to buy a house but our credit sucks so it's going to be a while before we get one. I just feel trapped and i don't know what to do. I feel like i have no control over anything in my life. My body is gone. I have gained so much weight and feel so gross and don't have time or energy to exercise. I feel suffocated most the time and just want to scream. I just had to get all that out. Sorry if it doesn't make sense but i thought maybe writing it all out would maybe help me a little.
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8 comments:
Oh my, I am sorry to hear you have so much going on. That is a lot to deal with all at the same time! I think we all have those horrible days/weeks/months where nothing seems to go our way. I hope you can find a way to make things better, even just by a little bit.
(and this two year old thing is HARD!)
Oh, Erin! So sorry to hear about all of your struggles. Just a suggestion based on what I am hearing, but if I were you I would probably go ahead and get a job. While it may only be enough to pay for childcare and may not help you long term financially, it will help give you a break and give you another purpose to direct energy towards at let you regroup. At the same time, Carter can spend some time with other kids and it may help in the discipline department. Kids are often much more responsive to others than to us. If he's willing to pick up some good habits somewhere else maybe he'll be willing to follow those at home. That's just a hope anyway. Reagan seems a lot like Carter many days too so I really don't know what I'm talking about.
As far as the weight goes, I've got no advice for you. When you figure it out let me know. I've got the same problem.
I really, really hope things start to get a little better for you. Keep us posted on your progress. And be sure to keep looking for that progress. It is sometimes hard to see any progress has been made while we are in the middle of these things. It is often only when we emerge that we see our steps we took to get there.
We must know the bitter to enjoy the sweet...
I am so sorry you are having such a rough time! I agree w/ Bridget, perhaps you getting a job will help! You will get a break, a breath of "fresh air", and Carter can go play and get some of that two year old energy out! Also, he might start eating better, seeing the other kids eat! If it's any consolation, I totally bribe Kami in the store w/ the promise of candy later.... I know, bad, but whatever works, right?? I also hear ya on the crappy credit thing. It really sucks, and it's so hard to build! And the weight thing: yep, I know what you're talking about. BUT I think you look great, at least in the pics I've seen of you! But I do know that it's not just looking good, it's feeling good. Something that helped me is there are DVDs called 10-Minute work outs that equal 50 min., but you can do whatever you have time for! That might help.... IDK! Anyways, hope you enjoyed this novel of a comment and that you start feeling better soon!!
Aw, first of all HUGS!! I could have written your post word for word. I'm struggling w/ Cami day after day. It's like a lightswitch clicked on when she turned two.. like "Oh i'm supposed to be terrible now!" It is so hard!
We have financial issues as well and Chris is always telling me to get a job, but it's not that easy(for me anyway)Anway.. this is just a big ramble, but wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. Email me if you ever need to talk more.
Thank you so much for all the nice comments ladies! It makes me feel better to have the support! I bought a new exercise DVD and Brad is completely on board with eating healthier. I'm already working part-time and feel like i can't even handle that so i think working full-time would make it worse. So no progress there BUT we are working everything out and it can only go up from here, right??
I'm glad you're feeling better! You know, I SAHM and it's tough, but we make it work! You know, it's too bad we don't all live closer, we could do playdates and work out together! (even if it was just a walk, how fun would that be?!)
Oh yeah it would rock if we all lived closer!! It also sucks because i only have one good friend who has kids and the others are still in party mode. After 2 years i'm still trying to make the transition into mommyhood!!
I know what you mean: my only friend w/ any kids moved 3 hrs. away! The rest of them are either in party or newlywed mode.
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